“Plan a POOL Party”, they said!

Most would agree that A Sweet Sixteen party is one of those pivotal points in time. A time where you’re faced with only the BEST temptation! Think back. No? Oh. Well maybe you’re on the other end of the spectrum and recall it as more of a young teen’s mini transition into slight maturity. I think it was both for me. Having my own ugly car to drive was just the cherry on top. I named her Betty Pearl. Yes, she looked exactly as her name would imply. Crazy that I remember this, but poor thing flooded in a hurricane 2 years into my adult life (meaning post-collegiate graduation). Sure, she was under new ownership by that time, but still...what a way to goooo righttt?

 

So it’s SUMMER!! Meaning cookouts and pool parties are the natural go to’s to celebrate every-single-milestone right now. Both are incredibly entertaining, given all the outdoor activities you can incorporate. Name a person who doesn’t love a game played on a manicured lawn or in a pool on a hot day? You drew a blank didn't you?

 

As I field my new inquires for pool parties, I’m reminded of the last one I worked, pre covid. What a time to be alive (back then) SMH, and had we known the world would shut down that next year...umm! Any who, grilled food topped my recommendations. It's easy to eat and grab in between tunes, fork nonessential. Cupcakes for guests and a small 1-2 tier personal cake for birthday wishes was next on my list. Assorted candy bars are great for this sort of thing and often requested, but because they don’t always fare well in hot temperatures, it didn’t make my proposal. A mocktail bar surely made the cut. Umbrella virgin drinks always make a 16 year old feel adult. I included this for obvious reasons, but less obvious was the overwhelming need to keep these kids fully hydrated. Believe it or not, fainting or an ambulance can be a pretty big buzzkill.  

 

Planning is going accordingly right? Ha, so you think! Pools are NOT EASY people.

Choosing the right venue for your teen's Sweet 16 celebration is the most crucial step. Very few have an opportunity to throw a house or neighborhood pool party, so I’m usually looking at a venue (unless you know somebody…cause…Listen). Depending on the teen, guests and set up….I’m usually between a country club, an aquatic center and a hotel. Funny thing is, most of these type of venues don’t want raging hormonal teens at their pools. The red tape is fire engine red!

Country Club 

The exclusivity. The membership. The country club! Do members join for access to luxury amenities? Sure. Are those members okay with rowdy 16 year olds? Nope. Are clients okay with all their rules? Usually not. If it’s a few girls or calm and coed, we have a better chance. Butttt if it's a few or calm, it would be planned without hiring me. See the dilemma, lol. Country clubs have pretty big minimums for fully private events on weekends, and it’s usually far far out of budget.

 

Aquatic Center 

My second most popular venue…well only if management is willing to color outside the lines. We can pay per hour or per teen or both. Typical packages include 2 hour swim time, fifteen minute changing time and 1-2 hours in a meeting room. No glass, silly string, or glitter. No food in and around the pool, no décor near the pool, definitely no babies and strict enforcement of all pool rules. Before accessing the pool area, parents and guardians of all participants must sign a detailed waiver. If we're honest, that waiver might be a pro depending on who you are.

Hotel 

Sounds easy peasy right? It's not! Partying under the radar is really hard. You can’t disturb hotel or conference guests in the slightest. Disturb translates into if you can't disappear you're disturbing. Hotels are just funny in that way. Did you know when I produce hotel weddings on a Saturday, guests are very rarely allowed to use the fixed hotel bar? Yelp. You can’t disturb the guests. Guests shouldn’t wait for their drink because my paying wedding guest also wanted a drink. I respect that but it can be annoying when I’m planning a dry wedding that has a hotel bar. Just you try to police that. Especially when the wedding guest is at a dry wedding, has cash, is grown AND is ALSO staying at the hotel. Wooosah. Any who, I never mind hotel pool parties where there is excellent management and quality catering. My décor isn’t as limited because ballrooms welcome it. One issue that usually stops me from progressing is, when the pool is in the west wing and the ONLY meeting room space to celebrate is in the east wing. I'll never understand why do they build them this way? I can’t really decorate the exercise room worthy enough for a sweet sixteen, yet that exercise room is always right beside the pool. Ugh.

 

Apartment

My single most popular venue! Can you say LAX? No, they don’t prefer rowdy 16 year olds either, buttttttt they also hardly see the actual rowdy 16 year olds. Leasing offices are closed or keep early hours on weekends. Even still, apartment managers are far more welcoming. Grills are nearby. Decorations can be anything. No minimums for catering or bars to meet. My Deejays can thrive. Kids can be kids. Country clubs, aquatic centers and hotels do not like deejays near their pools. It's a Safety hazard.

This soon to be 16 year old was obsessed with the show Bring It!: Dancing Dolls 4 Life. Do you remember it on Lifetime? If not, it streams on Hulu still. There is representation, the talent is sick and lead by the infamous beauty Dianna Williams. Sadly just a few months ago, Shakira Gatlin died tragically at 19 when she was accidentally shot in the head. It happened right after her mom buried her husband, who was also shot to death in late 2021. My sincerest prayers to Erica Robinson, her family, Dianna Williams, Dancing Dolls Troupe and all of Kira’s fans!!! DD4L <3.

 

~XXX

 

SarEE not SORRY!

Events are much more than just pomp and circumstance...well at least they should be. Historically, as humans, we have developed some pretty cool relational traditions that have stood the test of time. We unite to share our history and food, mark the beginning of a season, a new year, and even uniquely say goodbye to a member of our community. Amazing celebrations are a social practice that remind us who we are and how much our family and friends adore us. “Road to the wedding” events and weddings themselves are grand displays of love, for both the union between two souls and their respective families. But seriously, who can really count alllll the events before the big day? I feel like they grow by the social media post. One of my faves, you ask? Engagement parties!! It’s that big moment to share the big news with both families...and if they haven’t all met before, it is the ideal way to break the ice. Just the same, there are also events that I do not particularly appreciate... yelp, stripper themed bachelor parties. They can border tacky, disrespectful and unnecessary. These days most parties take a trip! The cost to be in a wedding is sickening compared to just 10 years ago. The expectations. Whew. Depending on the couple's preferences and budgets, whether it be an engagement party, a bridal shower, rehearsal dinner and so on...just make it make sense! For example, traditionally South Asian cultures celebrate weddings for a week! Can you imagine planning that many events? 

Being apart of planning any phase of an event as meaningful as a wedding makes my heart smile. For me, it’s not really a matter of how big or intimate the occasion is. It’s about getting to know the bride and groom, their history together, their families and how we get to incorporate their traditions. Witnessing the moment when a father looks for the first time at his daughter, dressed as a bride...starting the journey of life as a wife...does it for me every. single. time. I invest all my energy for moments like those. 

 

Sooooo, I planned a bridal shower with a Moroccan Chic style, filled to the brim with personalized details and experiences to share with a few ladies.  Bridal showers often look like an event where you give people food in exchange for gifts and even some unrequested advice. I don’t see it quite that way. They are an opportunity to get together all the bride's closest friends and family... the female figures that can guide her, pray for her marriage and provide a freaky piece of advice. Listen all walks of life are needed. Lol. Bridal showers are the perfect opportunity to have no filter.

The good ones are never just bland apps and classic cocktails. You should include activities to bond with your attendees and stations with theme-related experiences: I did a henna station, personalized drinks with fun names that correlated to specific activities throughout the event, hookah, andddd belly dancing lessons. I will say these old mother’s have better hip game than most! But if I could offer one piece of advice, please decrease the amount of paper games you allow. You can involve your guests by supplying a flower bouquet station as a take-home favor or feature a bartender to teach a special drink. Options are endless.

 

When it comes to bridal showers, my advice is to choose a fun theme that comes alive with decor and edibles. Nooo. Not that kind people ;) Even if your event is intimate or at home, you CAN incorporate those details to make it memorable. At this intimate Moroccan inspired Bridal Shower, I just had to include a low table with pillows for sitting. Orange tulle (mimicking veils), rose gold diamond balloons (as a nod to the bride's AMAZING nontraditional rose gold engagement ring), and fresh flowers rounded out the typical bridal shower decor. The fun was the Moroccan furniture, bronze mirror trays, bronze lanterns, bronze hurricane vases, and elephants randomly placed. Bath Salt Favors read, "From Sharma's shower to yours"...Clever right? This entire shower was a vibe and not terribly expensive! My instructions to the bride were to have fun, sit back, and enjoy the moment. Home girl listened EXTREMELY WELL.

 

If Gimmicks don’t seduce you

What to do in these Covid streets? Blog a precious event for #waybackwednesday that helps you remember the fun loving side of Event Consulting and not the outlandishly rude side of the industry.

One of the biggest misnomers of those that celebrate themselves or their milestones is, they’re vain and lack humbleness. They just want attention and portraying a life that is simply not real. While social media has added to that element in some of the worst ways, people’s desires for celebrations can’t be lumped. They don’t all stem from this narcissistic place we so easily place them in, just the same, they all aren’t insecure. You’d be surprised to learn a lot of my consultations include this one line, “I wanted to do A, but I don’t want to do too much” or “I really like B, but I don’t want the people to say is that what she’s giving ughhhh what would you do?” LOL.  My response is always around the same, there is a place JUST for you. Be the cool authentic you and you won’t have any regrets. It’s when you change it up that you fight through all those internal struggles.

I wish I’d figured this out when taking my senior pictures a few years ago…yes I said a few years, few being relative. I had this vision, ultimately it wasn’t me, but it was what I thought Senior pictures should be. I didn’t mind my outfit choices so much, I mean that’s how I dressed, it was that hair that I saw in a “Hype Hair” magazine that makes me lowkey HATE my pics. As my mother says, “the camera took what it saw”, Touché ma…Touché. I did this whole triangle part design with rubber bands in the front and FLIPPED MY HAIR UP in the back. I had been a flat wrap girl all my life, why I chose this style haunts me. I also let my other cousin do my makeup. It was ME, it wasn’t either of my cousins, the makeup was just not what I needed with the flip hair. Mannnn she lined my lips too. Which was on trend for the time, it just didn’t work. I look at those pics and think, “WHY LAWD?”often. You’ll see them and think they weren’t thaattt bad, and tis true, I just wish I would have gone with my normal, just spruced up a tad. I did a complete overhaul. Lessons.  

If you’re private and chill, you do NOT have to abandon that. If gimmicks don’t seduce you, be dope in your own way. Baby showers can be simple…and they can start in the morning. Mommies have 1-3 baby showers by the time showering is all over. Sometimes for all of their inner circles….work, church, friends, in laws, it takes that many logistically. If people want to love on you and host a baby shower in your honor, let them. After all, you KNOW you need the items because it takes a village then some for these lil crumb snatchers. Hopefully they won’t all be over the top, unless you like that sort of thing. A kitchen, dining area, and living room served as the perfect location for this baby shower. Since she was having 2, I thought it fitting to theme it “Buns in the oven” and serve buns, along with other tasty breakfast treats. ¡Alert Alert! Budget Saver, Carb overload and not a single complaint. Sometimes the sweetness is when you don’t try to overshare to build your brand in secret revenge and envy for likes. Just be.   

travel ‘round the world

Hey ya pals!!!

 “Thank you for being a Fran…travel ‘round the world and back again tah do do”…. some of my friends are the very BEST when it comes to sliding my information and you have to know I certainly appreciate that. In one week I’ve had 3 of my friends approach me, asking for my contact info because they KNOW of someone that just got engaged. Lol. I just pray they don’t make me sound super thirsty or make my potential clients feel like I drum up business on the regular. Before you make a face…see I imagine it to be when you’re 18 and on mom’s insurance AND get your FIRST speeding ticket. You can hardly process before those attorneys are sending “tattle tale” letters to your house. MAN. I know this has happened to y’all. Lol Memories. Anywho…I just hate to be that type of attorney. I’d like to be the attorney that is sought after just a tad. Referred to if you will. However, realizing I still have DUES to pay to the “game”…I guess I’ll take them how I get them. Honestly though, the clients I get that way tend to be super flakey and the way my time is set up, I can’t do flakey. Sooo I’ve just been encouraging my friends to please please please don’t bombard your coworkers and friends with my info. Don’t make me TACKY.

Wondering what to do when you first get engaged???


Do...

*Call anyone that would be offended if they first saw it on SOCIAL MEDIA!!

*Apparently post a picture on your social media…quickest way to alert everyone in one swoop…make those GAG…and let everyone that passed on you reevaluate their ENTIRE life.

*Get that ring sized…how would it look if you lose it and you JUST got it?

*Get that ring insured…for when you need that quick insurance scam, I mean honest pay out.

*Thank BAE every day for two weeks!!

DO NOT….

*Try to set a date the same day you get engaged-I promise you aren't 100% sure just yet.

*Start looking for a planner the very next day, even though you really feel like you need one THIS QUICKLY.

*Listen to all the people that will offer unsolicited advice as soon as they find out without a COINT to give you.

*Pick a petty fight with BAE…they are in the clear for 30 days.

 

I think that’s a banging list…lol

~xoxo

 

speaking of crazy RAZY

Greetings!!!!

You know when it’s been far too long since you last reached out to a dear friend and instead of acknowledging that fact…the friend just begins a conversation like ain’t nothing happened? Yooo I HATE that. So I’ll say….after much anticipation and many many threats to blog again…I’m bizack. Oh and how befitting given Bey (or me as some people commonly confuse us –I luh my frans-they are fools for texting me Congrats-lol) announced she’s preggars with TWINNIES. Quiet as it’s kept, I saw a facebook comment that said “Congratulations to Beyonce on her first pregnancy” lol. Lissen Folks soo very very shady…I did chuckle slightly and then gave a death stare to my phone after reading it.  I was talking to my deuce about it…so funny (but not really AT ALL FUNNY ugh) that after side chicks, side kids, diss tracks, manipulation into island purchases and a multi-million dollar wedding vow renewal ceremony…somebody managed to get knocked upppp. Just reaffirms that no amount of money, BEAUTY, or stardom keeps you from missing the BULL ish. Crazy razy.

Anywho…speaking of crazy razy. I have a wedding coming up in September of 2017. I have yet to put my finger on the contract….BUT during my initial consult…the bride said they have some funny requests. I expected to hear the usual…instead I heard some very interesting requests.

*The Grand Piano cannot be moved.

Ahhhh so it’s heavy…I wasn’t going to try, but y’all can’t move it? For the COINT? Really? Where is a down trustee or deacon when you need one? I know there is a side room…choir room…that it can be stored in. Don’t play with me!

*Photographer cannot intrude the altar or front of church.

Yo…I get this. The altar is sacred. But ahhhh we’re no longer sacrificing lambs at the tabernacle…we free. Holy Spirit done be unleashedddd lol. I kid…I do get it. It was funny because avoiding a potential block to the guest’s view is usually a request of the couple…not the church!

*Event Planner is responsible for phone patrol.

Wait Wait Wait….Wheetttt? Meeee? This was eye opening. Again I get it…but that’s usually a request of the couple, not the church. If the couple is completely okay with having their day plastered ALL OVER social media BEFORE the wedding pics officially come out…who is the church to shut it down? Interesting…can’t say I’m mad. I look forward to rolling up on people like “PHONE away or you’ll have to exit the premises”. Maybe I should hire help…the sneaky ones always snag the pic. I can’t begin to tell you how many concerts I’ve been to that clearly state “no phones” and yet I have evidence that I was there. SMH. What if this wedding is my karma and everybody TRIES me??? This is about to be hilar. I shall start practicing my “Moma eyes”…although I’m told I already have it in the bag.

 

~If you don’t PUT THAT PHONE up (insert harsh tone) xoxo

Grandma and Auntie always need ANOTHER BAG!

Do you find yourself searching for last minute wedding destination favor with a month to go before the nuptials? Is the struggle real???

Some of my typical go tos are candles, wine stoppers, labeled bags for the candy bar, personalized letters written by you on luxurious stationary and keychains...

But have you thought about luggage tags? Decently nice ones with all your personalized ish on them?

What about a canvas or vacation tote...personalized. It can say as little or as much as you want and are willing to pay for. Options are truly endless and you know Grandma and Auntie always need ANOTHER BAG! It could be a big emblem Letter...just the 1st letter of your new last name and that's it for the simple look as well as the low low in price. If you wanted a bit more...You could keep the personalized info in a smaller font which saves your coint but also makes the bag user friendly to a lot of people. It doesn't have to say PAULETTA (needed a random name and Denzel and Pauletta are on my bedroom floor on the cover of Ebony lol) all big on it where folks would say, "it's nice but I can't use THIS"...you can have Denzel weds Pauletta 2015 until forever blah blah real discreet on the bag somewhere.

You could even put together a travel kit inside of the personalized tote. Sometimes I encourage brides that have several out of town guests to put together lil kits. Your kit may include sun screen and lip balm etc...of which you can personalize alllll that jazz too.

What about putting notes in a bottle...kind of like a SOS that would typically be found in the ocean. You could roll up a letter that has your engagement pic also...it can be nice and generic or written specifically with each guest in mind. Engrave the bottle if you're really about that life. Gone head...do it up.

Stuck on the candy bar?? Engrave a cute lil box for the candy bar. Make sure it's a pretty sturdy one so that people can use it to hold their candy at the reception instead of that dreaded white paper bag...that box can be used for something else when they get home. Multipurpose.

You can pretty much get anything engraved and it could serve as your guest's trinkets or paperweights. A flip flop, a cruise boat, beach towel, palm tree etc. TOTALLY ENGRAVE-ABLE. For the more discreet approach, flip the item to the back and engrave Denzel and Pauletta 2015.

Wanting to step it up and CASH OUT?  Try glasses. Your guests will be toasting with your favor for years to come...or until they drop. Is that just me? I don't have a full set of anything because I stay breaking something. lol.

Don't be the couple that grew tired by the time favors were discussed and just dropped the ball. You can get a lot of stuff done locally and quickly. There's always time...

~Peace

“You ready Bey?” “Let’s go get ‘em.”

Greetings

Last year strategically placed me in amazing standing for 2015. You never know who is watching you work or whose ears are free of wax and waiting to hear how you’re developing.  Last year in Boston, during what I consider the BEST concert of all times… one of my faves THE Mrs. Karen Clark THE Sheard  reminded me of this very scripture, “A man’s gift makes room for him, and brings him in front  of  great men” (Proverbs 18:16). Okay so this is not going to be a Holy Ghost filled post…but ahhh DASSIT! Powerful stuff.  I’m quick to forget that I have been empowered to make room for myself. My gift (which encompasses so much more than “talent”) will open doors of opportunity if I continue to delight myself in the ultimate giver…the one that gave his begotten son.  I could probably spend a few pages on that…but I won’t. lol.

So I’ve been doing an extreme amount of venue and vendor consulting. I arrange the interviews, we pick the lucky winner, and I’m out. This works well 90% of the time. My top 3 favorite events  since I’ve blogged  have been an 80s themed party, an 1 year olds lady bug themed party, and an engagement party.  The 80s themed party had real life break dancers and printed pics as favors. The 1 year old actually had onesies made that read “LENA BUG” over the cutest graphic of a black and red lady bug; her name is Elena. The engagement party was enchanting…from the candlelight to the amazing words spoken by those closest to the couple. It’s always my honor when people entrust their events to me...it’s like a quick marriage where I spend the majority of my time proving I’m worthy of their love.  Oh but once it’s proven…I’m in there forever and they refer me to their loved ones. That’s the BEST place to be.

I recently hired a vendor for my own 30^th celebration based on a reference. It was going good until the increased price. I ate it because, well, I was on limited time and at the time I thought it included more things than it actually did. I was excited to give this particular vendor a chance because I knew I needed some new blood in this line of work. CAN YOU SAY I was handled awfully? I’d shown myself polite in doing a favor, as I often do, because in real life I provide a service and it’s hard to put a value on every single thing you do until the very end. Not everyone understands that tipping for a service is customary, so you do favors here and there because you know you’ll get it back in the end. Pay if forward if you will. Well honey…after receiving some rude texts and some things I could have probably gotten out of…I paid in full and concluded to never use this vendor. How unwise it is for a vendor to mistreat a client…you don’t know their reach. Everybody is on their hustle and references are golden.  Who I won’t work with again is…well…you get the point. The world turned and as life would have it some newborn blood did recently develop in that same month (insert praise hands). I’d take a less experienced person with raw talent ANY day. In fact, that excites me. They work that much harder…they’re HUNGRY. Grrr. Heck I’m hungry too so let’s get these stacks together. “You ready Bey?” “Let’s go get ‘em.”

~xoxo