speaking of crazy RAZY

Greetings!!!!

You know when it’s been far too long since you last reached out to a dear friend and instead of acknowledging that fact…the friend just begins a conversation like ain’t nothing happened? Yooo I HATE that. So I’ll say….after much anticipation and many many threats to blog again…I’m bizack. Oh and how befitting given Bey (or me as some people commonly confuse us –I luh my frans-they are fools for texting me Congrats-lol) announced she’s preggars with TWINNIES. Quiet as it’s kept, I saw a facebook comment that said “Congratulations to Beyonce on her first pregnancy” lol. Lissen Folks soo very very shady…I did chuckle slightly and then gave a death stare to my phone after reading it.  I was talking to my deuce about it…so funny (but not really AT ALL FUNNY ugh) that after side chicks, side kids, diss tracks, manipulation into island purchases and a multi-million dollar wedding vow renewal ceremony…somebody managed to get knocked upppp. Just reaffirms that no amount of money, BEAUTY, or stardom keeps you from missing the BULL ish. Crazy razy.

Anywho…speaking of crazy razy. I have a wedding coming up in September of 2017. I have yet to put my finger on the contract….BUT during my initial consult…the bride said they have some funny requests. I expected to hear the usual…instead I heard some very interesting requests.

*The Grand Piano cannot be moved.

Ahhhh so it’s heavy…I wasn’t going to try, but y’all can’t move it? For the COINT? Really? Where is a down trustee or deacon when you need one? I know there is a side room…choir room…that it can be stored in. Don’t play with me!

*Photographer cannot intrude the altar or front of church.

Yo…I get this. The altar is sacred. But ahhhh we’re no longer sacrificing lambs at the tabernacle…we free. Holy Spirit done be unleashedddd lol. I kid…I do get it. It was funny because avoiding a potential block to the guest’s view is usually a request of the couple…not the church!

*Event Planner is responsible for phone patrol.

Wait Wait Wait….Wheetttt? Meeee? This was eye opening. Again I get it…but that’s usually a request of the couple, not the church. If the couple is completely okay with having their day plastered ALL OVER social media BEFORE the wedding pics officially come out…who is the church to shut it down? Interesting…can’t say I’m mad. I look forward to rolling up on people like “PHONE away or you’ll have to exit the premises”. Maybe I should hire help…the sneaky ones always snag the pic. I can’t begin to tell you how many concerts I’ve been to that clearly state “no phones” and yet I have evidence that I was there. SMH. What if this wedding is my karma and everybody TRIES me??? This is about to be hilar. I shall start practicing my “Moma eyes”…although I’m told I already have it in the bag.

 

~If you don’t PUT THAT PHONE up (insert harsh tone) xoxo