Strength. Courage. Wisdom.

I actually found out about India.Arie in the spring of 2000.  I actually won her CD because I wrote an article about R&B and how the music industry has drastically changed over time.  Strength, Courage, and Wisdom has been a song that has given me great hope throughout many experiences in my life.  You know you like the song too don’t play. Now the song is playing in your head in the background while you read this lets get back to business.

(Strength, Courage, and wisdom/It’s been inside of me/all along)

Finding the one you love and seeing yourself with this person is not only a memorable experience but also, one many people wait a lifetime for.  Planning a wedding can bring about some interesting conversations between a couple planning their wedding.  I think it is important for men to know the wedding day and all the emotions that come along with the day is something women have been conditioned to want due to various experiences (movies, television shows, etc.).  First and foremost you two should have a conversation about the type of wedding you want upfront.  I know people always say budget first and then quote things later.  I believe it is important to quote things first because it will help both the BTB and GTB have a better understanding of the type of wedding you can afford.

(Strength, Courage, and wisdom/It’s been inside of me/all along)

There are two types of women when it comes to planning a wedding, 1) The BTB who wants to be a part of every detail and wants the day to be a production or 2) The BTB is laid back and just wants to have a special day without all the glitz. It is important to note MOST men do not think about the wedding per se.  Males have only thought about everything up until they have proposed.  The following questions are typically questions a man may ask himself before he has proposed:

1)    Can I see myself with her for the rest of my life?
2)    Does my family genuinely like her?
3)    Do I like her family?
4)    Can we grow together?
5)    How am I going to pay for this ring?

If you noticed, nothing in those questions had anything to do with the wedding.  Not one question focused on what tuxedo he wanted to wear, the colors he wanted, or the types of decorations or flowers he wanted to be used in the venue.  Women, it is important to understand your fiancé may not care about the details (and that is okay) and you should not be frustrated that he is not as engrossed in the details as you would like him to be.  What he will be engrossed in is the financial aspect of the wedding.

GTB:  As I am going through the process, I find myself humming (Strength. Courage. Wisdom.) in my head.  I encourage you to think of something that will keep you calm as you are discussing things that you wished your fiancée just made a decision about.  I like to think this practice will allow us to avoid any disagreement and carry on as usual.

BTB:  Ask him is there anything he would like to have control over (if you two would like control over the same things then compromise).  He is only worried about how much money is being spent on the wedding itself.  So make sure you update him with current numbers consistently.  Remember he is more concerned about entering the married life on good financial terms than how many tiers should be on the cake.

Sing the chorus with me…okay too much?  Point taken.  Hopefully the journey will be one that brings you two closer together.  Feel free to ask questions for a male perspective in the comment section below.

Royally,
therespectedKING

*Super excited to have you all read things from a male perspective as he and I have had so many conversations on the topic. Look for my response soon....*Claps* didn't he do an amazing job?  I added the video FIRST....just in case you previously lived under a rock and weren't familiar with the song!
xoxoxoxoxoxxoxox Jay <3