Raaaawwwwwwrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

It’s about to be a what? GIRL FIGHT!!!! I low-key hate when they play that song to catch the bridal bouquet! Lol I would much rather hear Single Ladies by Beyonce. Prior to the release of Beyonce’s single ladies, all I heard was that stupid girl fight song! Lol Ugh I mean…at the very least have a little class about yourself and play the instrumental!

What is it that brings out the cattiness in most females? Is it the time of day or perhaps the temperature in the air? It’s almost as if where 2 or more are gathered you’re sure to have trouble. It can be taxing to pick one bridesmaids dress for a large wedding party, but it must be done and the peace must be kept while doing so. Take into account, the same females that are your confidants, prayer warriors, and reading club buddies sometimes don’t get along when thrown into group work…i.e. weddings! So sad but true! Don’t be afraid to unleash your inner bridezilla, she may need to appear just for a short while to restore a little order. Conflict will arise, its how you deal with it that will make the difference. Although it is the sole purpose of the bridesmaids to make the bride stress free during wedding preparations, some women naturally find a way to make your event all about them….be leery of how many of these people you allow into your ceremony! They are sometimes your family…best friends…sorority sisters so you’ve already asked them to be a part and unfortunately can’t renege now…need tips to help them simmer down? Sure…

Do everyone a favor and simply plan ahead when choosing your bridesmaids! Take personality and history into deep account to make the final decision. Consider the balance of alpha females and those that simply won’t back down and what kind of conflict this will undoubtedly lead to. Realize there will be discord over duties amongst the leaders of the pack! Brides, when faced with a dilemma, protocol is “blood is thicker than water”…so your birth sister over your “like my sister”.  Weigh your “extenuating circumstances” carefully.  Make the choices you feel most comfortable with. If you feel bad leaving someone out, remember there are other duties such as guest book attendee and emcee of reception that will allow them to be a part of your big day.

Directed at a few of my blog supporters….IF THERE IS A DISPUTE BETWEEN BRIDESMAIDS AND IT INCLUDES THE MATRON/MAID OF HONOR, THE MATRON/MAID OF HONOR IS ALLOWED THE FINAL SAY SO IN ANY WEDDING OR PARTY DECISION. I don’t advocate for a monarchy or anything, but someone has to keep order when things have absolutely run a muck. With rank comes responsibility and the MOH is ultimately in charge of the planning and execution of all things bridesmaid…brides remind bridesmaids of this in the beginning! Face it; in the case of Matron of Honor and Maid of Honor…they are both the bride’s last line of defense against planning-induced insanity. Duties should be taken seriously and performed with mucho care.

Perform your damage control early! If you have to put your sister in the wedding and you know she doesn’t play well with other women (possibly because she’s a jealous lil hussy)…give her duties that don’t require a whole lot of group work. These consist of execution tasks, i.e. the things that don’t require group consensus and one person can complete… shower/party invitations, pick up favors, place order for shoes and perhaps since the bride can stomach her, she’ll be helpful to go along to consultations and give her opinion.

Keep it in perspective! All members of the bridal party should be willing to demonstrate their immense love for the couple by BEHAVING! They should be willing to place their “mature” hat on even if they don’t wear it often! There bubble should consist of fairness and mutual respect for at least a couple of months. It is important that the bride know very little of any conflict so bridesmaids keep your “rawrs” down to a minimum.  MOH and Brides… don’t be afraid to reiterate bridesmaids are here to help wedding prep go smoothly!!! They are here so the bride can enjoy the journey up to and through the big day!

Please exercise these tips and the advice of other bride’s to avoid and alleviate tension amongst the wedding party.

Men, in the event you have a little cattiness in your camp….please exercise this same advice! It works!!!

~LOVE

*SpArkLe*

I was super excited to have no plans this past weekend…or so I thought….and had dedicated myself to jump from couch to bed…order take out….and just chill out. I was successful on Friday night, but unfortunately tuckered out around 11:30pm since I didn’t get much sleep the night before. No…not like that…I didn’t get much sleep the night before because I ventured to the movies to be one of the first to see Whitney Houston’s last performance in SPARKLE. Super happy I did….I never for once regretted the idea until I was at work the next day, less than energized from my 3 hours and 45 minutes of sleep. You only live once right? #YOLO

Welp, on Saturday I received a call from a bride asking me to share some of my expertise with her maid of honor. As I listened, I realized the maid of honor needed a lil help in the planning of the bridal shower for the bride. With a wedding party of 22+ people, 10+ being women…making decisions was not as smooth as all parties involved had hoped they would be. Luckily they thought of me first…so I’m happy for the contract! (God is good!!!) After a 3 hour conference call that began at 10pm and 2 emails later it seemed we were on to something! There were two main issues responsible for the slight quarrel amongst the bridesmaids…affordability and “less bang for their buck”! That last issue took me some time to understand, but once I did….I was ready with all sorts of solutions!  Asking the right questions lead to a menu change where I’m sure the bridesmaids will feel more comfortable spending their hard earned coins. The maid of honor seems to be quite efficient, so I’m pretty sure this will be a piece of cake once all 10 girls are on the same page!

Check out pictures of the potential venue below (well the very few I could steal), once the vote is final we’ll be ready to move forward.

 ~Peace & Blessings

RaTher UnforTunaTE...

Even after months or even years of planning for a wedding, it is inevitable that something will go wrong!! With a good planner, we hope the something wrong is very small AND we hope the bride doesn’t even notice. I favor a few minor hiccups over full blown disasters any day of the week, for sure! What are some of the worst wedding day disasters you’ve witnessed? I thought I’d try my hand at coming up with a few:

Rain….Missing members of the wedding party…Undone chicken…Family drama...3 hr wait time before the reception…..Slower than usual hair stylist that then throws everything else off schedule….Deposits paid twice….Rips in dresses….Inexperienced Deejays….Malfunctioning equipment…Venue bankruptcy days before the wedding…Ever changing tight budgets....you  know things like that! Well what if I told you a friend of a cousin of a friend told me the shocker that beat all shockers….wanna read? Ok!

This poor lady has had to endure the most unfortunate of circumstances. Death of parents, drug abuse of siblings, burning down of houses, adoption of nephews and groom’s children, cheating of spouse….with that alone she deserves complete happiness in life, not just her wedding. Sure enough, her fairytale was not as smooth as one would hope! The caterer, for whatever reason, fled the original agreement and this poor “bride to be” was stuffing wedding reception food in her deep freezer and every other deep freezer for miles. Her bridesmaids were slow to plan the bridal shower and when the one bridesmaid with sense planned it, the other maids said it was too expensive (it was a room in a restaurant). The wedding started like 2 hours late because *pause* the poor groom got into an accident where he totaled the car (He’s okay, thank God) AND the hair stylist had to send her niece to the store to get a better matched weave for her wedding do. The wedding venue, of course being 45 minutes away, was too far for the already running late wedding party! The bridal party left their 1^st location an hour after the wedding already started, thereby leaving the unready bride at the 1^st location, 45 minutes away! The maids decided they needed to get ready, only there wasn’t a planned place for them to get changed at the actual wedding venue! Where they truly beautified themselves is tight lipped leaving me to believe it may have been an average gas station fast food joint! #noshade All this happened BEFORE the wedding…

 There was a significant pause (10 mins) after the wedding party came down the aisle and before the bride, so much so, the pastor asked “is the bride even here”….apparently the guests had restless leg syndrome and ventured out to find the guest book instead of letting the 2 hr late bride enter the church. I couldn’t understand why all the guests hadn’t signed the guestbook 4 times a piece already! Once into the ceremony, the pastor asked everyone to have a seat, despite the two wedding rehearsals, the pastor’s request was a complete surprise to the bride and groom. The pastor delivered a sermon…no a REAL sermon…. where he asked the matron and the best man to have a seat…oh and he asked the bride and groom to have a seat tooooo while he delivered the SERMON (not a passage or two) on love. Yeah that was another 45 minutes passed. They got to the reception with 3 hours to do everything as they were just THAT late. My heart absolutely goes out to this bride!!!!! Sheesh!!!! The bride had already purchase a wedding cake, but the mother of the groom demanded she have a traditional wedding cake, typical of the Jamaican culture, and the bride that accommodates everyone else, obliged. Couple of days before the wedding, the mother of the groom asked for half of the money to pay for this cake that was the mother of the groom’s idea<<<---Really ma’am?  The 2^nd wedding cake was significantly more than the original wedding cake and of course money was becoming more than tight by then! I really hope that 2^nd wedding cake was a small piece of heaven because she could use it.  

I would rate this wedding pretty low on the minor hiccup scale… but I hear it was a pretty wedding! Lesson of the day, pray for extreme favor and complete the due diligence!

 ~LOVE

KISS cam...

Greetings again,

Aren’t you proud….yes this is the 3^rd day in a row that I’ve blogged! Get yo’ life…because I’m doing better than ever! Yesss! Today my group began discussing how President and First Lady were caught on the "kiss cam" at the arena last month…OMG how cute, I love our First family!!! They seem so down to earth, President Obama and his five guys while First Lady Michelle shops at Target! Awwe! They’re just like me….what great motivation for our children to see faces like theirs in the White House living an “ordinary” life. The dream just got closer! From this conversation we somehow moved into snafu proposals on the big screen! Recently, a guy had it all set up for his soon to be fiancée via the megatron…and ole girl was busy making the beer run. Why? Lol

Got me to thinking…so I’ve compiled a short list (some with prices) of how to propose at a sporting event in NC!

Carolina Hurricane Proposals:: For $250, the organization will put together a special wedding proposal package.  The package includes Stormy coming to your seat in a tuxedo and the video board and matrix board showing “Will you marry me?” as you ask the question.  The Hurricanes will put together a DVD to commemorate the moment.  Call (919) 861-5462 for more information. (That’s not that bad if she would really like it)

Durham Bulls Propsals:: The Bulls run messages on our video board and message board typically during the middle of the 6th inning nightly. These messages are primarily "Happy Birthdays" and "Happy Anniversaries" but are not necessarily limited to that, anything other than these 2 topics are at the discretion of management.

Just check in at the Herald-Sun Fan Assistance Center before the fourth inning and let the attendant know what the message should read. Messages should be limited to five words for the message board in left field and just a name for the video board in center field. A $10 donation to the Durham Bulls Youth Athletic League (DBYAL) is required. The DBYAL allows disadvantaged inner city youth the chance to play little league baseball for free. (By far the BEST deal….$10 is a steal)

Carolina Panthers Proposals::

Send someone a personalized scoreboard greeting during a Carolina Panthers home game in front of more than 73,000 of your closest friends. Tell us what you want to say, and your message will be immortalized on Bank of America Stadium's sideline message boards during the Panthers game of your choice.

Messages will be displayed on both of Bank of America Stadium's sideline color message boards, located between the two suite levels above the stadium's grey seats, between the first and second quarter for eight seconds.

Each personalized message costs $125, payable with a credit card. Included in the cost of each message is a 5x7 photograph, which will be sent to you via U.S. Mail, of the message being displayed during the game.

The deadline for purchasing a scoreboard message is Wednesday at 11:59pm ET before the selected game with some exceptions for non-Sunday games. You can purchase a message for any upcoming game at any time prior to the deadline as long as inventory is available for the selected game.

It is recommended that messages contain a maximum of 5 to 10 words. Please note the number and size of the letters in the two examples shown above. The shorter the message, THE BIGGER THE LETTERS!

Bank of America Stadium is a privately owned building. No commercial messages or profanity are allowed. In addition, the Carolina Panthers reserve the right, in their sole and absolute discretion, not to display any messages that are deemed inappropriate, including but not limited to messages that are religious or political in nature, or messages that support any team other than the Carolina Panthers.

(Not bad!!!)

Unfortunately I couldn’t find any information on how to propose at a Charlotte Bobcats game…that’s whack! Remember your proposal should be special and something she would really enjoy-no expense spared!!! Then again, some women would much rather spend a quiet night at home…so as long as you create the proposal with your soon to be fiancée in mind, you can’t go wrong!  Yaaay! Let’s get engaged people ;)

mR. JeSSe JoNes

buttercups,

Meanwhile 15 minutes away… at another dinner for another good friend a couple of weeks ago, we began talking about HOT DOGS! What a conversation, let me just tell you! Amongst the 10 of us, we all had differing opinions on hot dogs. All beef…no all chicken….pork is fine…. $0.99 hot dogs are best….I survived on hot dogs and ramen in college…Bright leaf….NO JESSE JONES SON HANDS DOWN (yeah that last comment was just me, but I’m emotionally invested in Jesse Jones)! Jesse Jones is the best, we grew up on Jesse Jones…sure it was never big enough for the bun, but we had those other things to fill the bun out! Personally, I pinch the beginning bread off and always have bread at the end of my hot dogs, I KNOW I’m not alone!  Nevertheless, it was a long but funny conversation that began, quickly ended, and then began AGAIN! We noticed that people up north preferred a certain one to us southerners. Needless to say we were all curious as we listened and chimed in when appropriate to convince people our hot dog was the “bestest”. Very few people were familiar with every single hot dog discussed; there are so many different types of hot dogs!  The way  everyone made these Bright leaf hot dogs sound, I thought I had missed out on something GREAT.  Umm I was wrong….as it seems someone has SAVED ME and I CAN live without a BRIGHT LEAF! OMG, how anyone enjoys a Bright Leaf is BEYOND me! No offense if that’s your dog lol

So LISTEN (well read) how I fell in head first…I said, “I’m not a huge hot dog person” (probably because I know what hot dogs exactly are lol), “but I’m all about the condiments and toppings!!!” I then went into detail about MY homemade chili…knowing full well it’s my moma’s homemade chili but we share recipes…mainly because I only know her recipes and they are WONDERFUL! Lol! I made sure all the guests understood that I don’t believe in beans in my chili....my family doesn’t believe in can or bought chili (we’re spoiled lol)….we believe in browning that good hamburger (GRADE A+)…draining, seasoning, adding our secret weapon….and then throwing it back in the pan to simmer…just letting that sauce thicken hunnie! Yes GAWD that’s some good chili. Mom eats it over chips…I just eat it plain lol….when my cousin makes her chili she does it a bit different but it’s still the MOST meatiest thing you’ve ever tasted. When I see her coming in with that heavenly chili, I just sneak a bowl as a snack until the other meat is finished cooking on the grill.

Umm! That chili!

Well after I had everyone at the table just slobbering at the mouth…they were like well you’ve got to make this special homemade::out of this world-chili soon. I felt the first shoe (figuratively) hit me upside the head when I realized, man I just talked this chili  up SOOOO super much!  Well the next week, I got THAT text message and immediately the 2^nd shoe hit me….it was now set in stone, and I had that little butterfly in my tummy that refused to stop fluttering. “Hot dog cookoff” featuring Jay’s famous Chili. You knooooow when you talk something up, you get nervous when you have to follow through!!!! Chile I just laughed while thinking I wonder if mom has some hamburger in the deep freezer I can borrow! J I laugh at myself soo often.

This is becoming longer than I’d hoped…I just want to tell the story in detail…okay short version from now on. Wednesday I began thinking how much hamburger I would need and where I could get the best grade meat from….lol. Thursday I didn’t go to the meat house as expected…I found a $2 off $10 coupon and went on to Food Lion lol. Friday, I came home from the movies (Do not go see Magic Mike unless you’re prepared for nudity that seems out of place and doesn’t help the storyline) and went straight to the kitchen to start making my chili…mom said to call her but I had it in the bag now…it was do or die! I drained…I seasoned…I overly seasoned. I realized my chili powder was hot Mexican chili powder but I said it’ll be okay because I wasn’t  buying anymore. I mixed it…secret ingredients and all…and then let it rest! I refrigerated it…hopefully sealing in the seasonings! Saturday afternoon I put it in my 2qt crock pot and let it SIMMER for like 4 hours. I got a small bowl and tasted my own chili goodness and I was like ummm this IS good….I shall be proud *chest all the way out*. Yeah made a quick turn and it was on the FLOOR! Lol! Only 1/3 of it…front seat passenger side…luckily I still had 2/3 for the guests. I got rave reviews….but as my mom points out, “if they were use to eating bought chili or chili from the can…your chili was BANGING you can’t go wrong baby girl” I guess, thanks mom?

Anywho, all the guys surrounded the grill to do their thang….all the girls were inside chilling out having cocktails…some were in the kitchen organizing. Everyone had to bring their favorite pack of hot dogs…the guys cooked packs of hot dogs one at a time….we had 56 hot dogs in all. We had a sticky note system on the stove so we could keep them warm while keeping them organized. We passed out paper and plates…and cut around  3-4 hot dogs per brand in sample size to serve. When I went around I would say number 1 to every PERSON lol…and then number 2 and so on! After all 7 had been served, we took a vote and had lil discussions (too salty, nasty). It was super fun. I think Carolina Pride won (ewwe) but I found out I like Ballpark Angus from the cook-off. My Jesse Jones only got one other vote! BUT I must say I really know my hot dog because I picked it out of 6 others. Bright leaf tasted like fish…yes the hot dog tasted like fish. OMG…lol! Cole slaw, chopped onions, sauerkraut and a host of other toppings…the regulars::ketchup, mustard, relish were all in abundance. My CHILI was good and meaty….chips, drinks-regular and alcoholic….and creme cheese filed strawberries for dessert. We played catch phrase (a true hoot) and name that tune::battle of the sexes. NOW That got serious way too fast. WE had a WONDERFUL time; I love chilled events with my friends!!!! Especially when they've done all the leg work...text messaging....making sure the date works, an evite...the great venue, welcoming space and all that in between guests don't think about because they are mostly concerned with just showing up! LOL She said next time at my house.....LOL I didn't respond!

You'll always be #1 to me Mr. Jesse Jones, my <3

~kisses

A Themed Thirty....

Greetings,

I know I know…I’ve failed you all miserably! Blame the world….I’ve had nothing really to work on that is set in stone for the last two weeks! Sooo I shall blog about other things lol

Who doesn’t love a 2 part 30^th birthday celebration? I do and was super ecstatic to be invited to one! A Dirty thirty as they call it (we still don’t know who THEY exactly is but oh well lol). 1^st part…”Queens Croquet” game night::SUPER CUTE! A good way to get people who aren’t familiar with each other to mix and mingle, laugh and giggle, is a stress free game night. Even the shyest of people will come out to play when the vibe is “friendly”. Appetizers were in overdrive and drinks were good and steady. If it hasn’t happened upon you just yet….it’s an Alice and Wonderland themed weekend! The Queens Croquet is a chapter in this great body of work…and I wouldn’t expect anything less from an English teacher that has won several awards. This game night was in a souped up apartment complex’s event space, but if you do not have access to a souped up event space, do not fret for a living room, kitchen, dining room, spare bedroom will do. The most important thing is that it is comfortable with plenty of seating. One mustn’t rent chairs but there should be ample chairs or a VERY inviting floor for your guests. Please know your crowd, so that you make proper seating arrangements! The host is quite techy so the night was filled with group games on the IPAD. Always plan your games prior to, think them out as to avoid confusion. It’s super hard to get 30 people on one accord when you’re somewhat confused yourself. Luckily everything was thought out for this event, making the night tremendously enjoyable!

2^nd part of this dirty thirty weekend was a “High Tea”. The restaurant provided just the right atmosphere. It was spacious and regal….totally delivering on the theme. Wooden tables and wooden chairs of a very nice quality….exposed ceiling with wrought iron chandeliers…dimmed lighting to showcase a very classic setting::crisp white linens and silverware rolled in midnight black napkins! The host was sure to offer labeled favor mugs with truffles and tea….you know for the High Tea. I know, FAB right? The cake was true to the Alice and Wonderland theme, of course, and cup cakes were in abundance reading “eat me”. Some of the guest joked they were going to take a picture and send it to various people. LOL It was a well planned 2 day event…I’ve added the restaurant to my event space listings…so technically I worked for the business…right? RIGHT! See very few pics below...



Happy Birthday Sir!!!

 

Chase and I…




My new friend…thinking we’ll be friends for a long while ;)



New friend x2…

Hope you got some ideas for your next event….if you did my blogging is not in vain lol

~Me

Welcome to HOLLYWOOD!!!!!

As I read the previous blog entry from my bestie X…I must say he was correct…India.Aire is playing in my head in the background! Thanks a lot! Lol I’m actually not a big India.Aire fan…just familiar with the songs that have gained popularity via mainstream society and radio. She had a good run for a long time…I mean what has happened? Since declaring she isn’t her hair…nobody can find her anywhere (haha that rhymed). So I don’t share in your love for India.Aire unfortunately X!

I think there are way more types of brides than the typical “production glitz glamour bride” and “cool calm collected bride.” I mean where are the “broke as a joke brides” and “fantasy come back to earth brides”…they can’t get no love? Don’t forget the “confused bewildered bride” oh and the “I’m a boss and I got something to prove bride!” Sure all of these can be lumped together in one bride, or the bride can display all of these many titles and characteristics on any given day during the planning process… but sometimes what the bride is known for isn’t  glitz or  laid back at all…it’s all those other ones I named! It’s funny, sometimes the most some brides have in common is they are getting married….and it stops there…women are some funny creatures! <--- said as if I’m not a woman! #smh Lol

I thoroughly enjoyed your take on what a man may ask himself before proposing…SO FREAKING INFORMATIVE. I think I’m fine if my fiancée isn’t as “engrossed” in the details….if I can make all decisions I’m good…buuuut I can see where it could be an issue. If my fiancée is the person I go to when I’m stressed…and I’m stressed about the wedding…naturally he may be my stress reliever and thereby be more involved than he’d like to be in the planning….hmm! Interesting take huh? I don’t foresee myself trying to involve a man that doesn’t want to be involved, however because women typically don’t like to compromise. It would be beneficial to have a conversation about it from time. I totally agree and think we may have talked about this in person…for me I think I’d like to say, “What are the MOST important things to you boo?” “Oh Food and Venue…okay cool you’ll have total decision power on those things and I’ll just let you know my decisions on all those other “non important” wedding items.”

Yes the wedding journey can make or break you….how you deal with conflict and difficult times while planning IS HOW you’ll deal with conflict and difficult times in your marriage so PAY ATTENTION to your mate.  Press on if she’s a mild bridezilla…get some counseling if she’s over the top! It may save your marriage in the long run J

And to all the glitzy brides that are after my own heart….lol Here’s our songgg ladies……while he’s playing strength courage and wisdom…let’s sing welcome to Hollywood!!!!

~Jay Fierce