Strength. Courage. Wisdom.

I actually found out about India.Arie in the spring of 2000.  I actually won her CD because I wrote an article about R&B and how the music industry has drastically changed over time.  Strength, Courage, and Wisdom has been a song that has given me great hope throughout many experiences in my life.  You know you like the song too don’t play. Now the song is playing in your head in the background while you read this lets get back to business.

(Strength, Courage, and wisdom/It’s been inside of me/all along)

Finding the one you love and seeing yourself with this person is not only a memorable experience but also, one many people wait a lifetime for.  Planning a wedding can bring about some interesting conversations between a couple planning their wedding.  I think it is important for men to know the wedding day and all the emotions that come along with the day is something women have been conditioned to want due to various experiences (movies, television shows, etc.).  First and foremost you two should have a conversation about the type of wedding you want upfront.  I know people always say budget first and then quote things later.  I believe it is important to quote things first because it will help both the BTB and GTB have a better understanding of the type of wedding you can afford.

(Strength, Courage, and wisdom/It’s been inside of me/all along)

There are two types of women when it comes to planning a wedding, 1) The BTB who wants to be a part of every detail and wants the day to be a production or 2) The BTB is laid back and just wants to have a special day without all the glitz. It is important to note MOST men do not think about the wedding per se.  Males have only thought about everything up until they have proposed.  The following questions are typically questions a man may ask himself before he has proposed:

1)    Can I see myself with her for the rest of my life?
2)    Does my family genuinely like her?
3)    Do I like her family?
4)    Can we grow together?
5)    How am I going to pay for this ring?

If you noticed, nothing in those questions had anything to do with the wedding.  Not one question focused on what tuxedo he wanted to wear, the colors he wanted, or the types of decorations or flowers he wanted to be used in the venue.  Women, it is important to understand your fiancé may not care about the details (and that is okay) and you should not be frustrated that he is not as engrossed in the details as you would like him to be.  What he will be engrossed in is the financial aspect of the wedding.

GTB:  As I am going through the process, I find myself humming (Strength. Courage. Wisdom.) in my head.  I encourage you to think of something that will keep you calm as you are discussing things that you wished your fiancée just made a decision about.  I like to think this practice will allow us to avoid any disagreement and carry on as usual.

BTB:  Ask him is there anything he would like to have control over (if you two would like control over the same things then compromise).  He is only worried about how much money is being spent on the wedding itself.  So make sure you update him with current numbers consistently.  Remember he is more concerned about entering the married life on good financial terms than how many tiers should be on the cake.

Sing the chorus with me…okay too much?  Point taken.  Hopefully the journey will be one that brings you two closer together.  Feel free to ask questions for a male perspective in the comment section below.

Royally,
therespectedKING

*Super excited to have you all read things from a male perspective as he and I have had so many conversations on the topic. Look for my response soon....*Claps* didn't he do an amazing job?  I added the video FIRST....just in case you previously lived under a rock and weren't familiar with the song!
xoxoxoxoxoxxoxox Jay <3

That dreaded “back fat”...

Let me begin by asking…who has a fire drill in triple digit heat? Right…Yeah just experienced one and it was a straight up nightmare! But I guess I shouldn’t be super upset because it truly wasn’t a drill…there was smoke on the 5^th floor *apparently*. By far there was the MOST smoke in the parking deck where I stood, my coworkers confused this emergency with a smoke break and lit it up hunnies! Wheew…too much!

Anywho…planning a wedding can be overwhelming…well most of the time will be overwhelming!  There are so many decisions, and for most brides, selecting the perfect dress is the most important one. Congrats are in order once more…I have a new consulting contract! In this service, I will focus on defining wedding dresses that best suit the “bride to be’s” body shape, personality and style. After quite a bit of research and questionnaires…it’s time to SHOP! Depending on where she’d like to go during the shopping experience, I can pull looks and have them waiting for her when she arrives at the store AND/OR  meet her at a location and shop with her…providing real-time consultation.

From what I can remember she is a big busty…heavier set lady. Clearly this client is a recommendation as you can see because I’m not 100% sure what she even looks like. But that’s fine…my business is strictly recommendations most times.

Already I’m thinking!!!! My first idea is ruching…lol, it’s so forgiving! If she wants to hide her curves it’ll be different from if she wants to accentuate them! Heavier girls can sometimes look good in an empire waist! The smallest part of the gown will be right around the rib cage which is usually the smallest area on a heavier woman #noshade. Figure flattering indeed! However, if she has a rounder tummy…empire style will umm hide the curves and possibly look preggers and NOBODY wants those rumors at the wedding! If her waist is smaller and she has more of an hour glass shape…she’ll be able to do a classic gown. The official go to for ample bosoms and a small waist is undoubtedly showing the girls off…nothing but cleave cleave cleavage-thereby highlighting the positive. Never underestimate a good alteration…it’s the difference between looking your very best and looking aight on your special day! Bigger bust-heavier set girls should always choose a dress with a higher cut back to avoid that dreaded “back fat” otherwise known as back rolls…and I know from my own experience that heavier fabrics have a tendency to keep things pulled in, snatched up, and held so avoiding a lighter fabric is KEY.

Bridal Boutiques on the list in the area are….

Traditions by Anna Bridal Boutique

Alexia’s Bridal Boutique

Savvi Formalwear

Maggi Bridal

Bridal Boutique of NC

Lana Addison Bridal

~This should be funners….Hoping you had an AMAZING Independence Day, I did! I visited mom and we had hotdogs, hamburgers, potatos with garden fresh goodies like fresh cole slaw, fresh potatos, fresh onions, fresh tomato, and fresh lettuce...all from my Uncle's garden!!!



Mommy and Me!!!!



The lost art of saying THANK YOU

So this really saddens me, considering the number of gifts and services that I’ve shelled out and people don’t formally say thank you…RUDE and sooo out of order! The last thank you card I received was from a girl I met at a part time job…only knew her for 7 mths or so, but we were kindred spirits. She had an ordeal with a man that possibly gave her a STD on top of dealing with her mom dying of breast cancer as a child-fast forward to the present- and possibly finding out she had the gene…she was dealing with so much. I wasn’t judgmental, I listened as she called and cried over the phone (while I was at work)…being careful to be super supportive because I can’t imagine dealing with any of that and sometimes you just need a good friend! When she finally returned to work, she asked to see me and gave me a huge hug! I remember she genuinely thanked me over and over again for being so sweet and how it really changed her mood and helped her to get her life together and face it all (I guess as opposed to being suicidal). THEN she handed me a thank you note…it has black and white daisies on the cover and a heartfelt thank you inside. THAT was the last thank you note I received, and I have it posted in my room. Unfortunately, it was a super long time ago…probably like 2009.

Saying “thank you” with a huge smile when you receive a gift or a nice gesture may seem adequate enough but it’s NOT and I am here to tell you!!! A man or women of distinction always writes a thank you note or has a thank you dinner or SOMETHING other than speaking the words “thank you”. In the days of instant communication, it’s easy to overlook the act of writing a thank you note but don’t feel like you’re overdoing it if you do…if someone bought you something you’re actually “underdoing” it by only speaking “thank you”!

You might reason that you don’t have to thank everyone for everything…but that’s kind of screwed because you kind of should to be a great person and who doesn’t want to be GREAT? Always thank gift givers, no matter how grand or seemingly insignificant the gift because they’ve taken their time and or money to buy you something. The person thought of you so THINK OF THEM. A thank you note is a gift in and of itself. Give the gift of acknowledgment! Sometimes your reputations can depend on it…I know I’m looking at some rather unappreciative people rather side-eyed because I never received a thank you card. In the 21^st century, we do so much emailing, texting, tweeting, and “facebooking” that a thank you note is the only time we can put pen to paper so be excited!! Matter of factly, I have two different sets of thank you cards and envelopes at my desk at work for any time I want to send one. For things like birthdays I don’t give formal thank you cards but I do send online thank you notes. However if I had a shower, housewarming, wedding, or any of the like I would send an excited formal thank you card. I’d wish to relay said excited appreciation.

I think it’s acceptable if someone picks up dinner that saying “thank you so much for dinner” works…casual in nature of course! If you’re into the extra mile, a follow-up text, email, or planning a dinner where you pay in return is most acceptable! It’s not mandatory but it’s a nice gesture. Special events ahh it’s a MUST! Ain’t nothing worse than hearing the married couple loves LOVES your gift and they never said thank you. But maybe the thank you card was lost in the mail? Wedding culture states you have up to one year to write a thank you note….I find that a tad bit astonishing as a lot can happen in a year’s time. Understand that failing to write a note makes you, the happy married couple, appear impolite and ungrateful. What people fail to realize is guess what…the recently married couple that had a baby and sent cards announcing the birth of their child….rarely receive a tickle me Elmo now since I gave a wedding gift with no thank you card!  Just saying….

and with all this said, THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ MY BLOG!

Event::62312

Muffins!!!!!

Happy Monday <---Screaming that just to get my week off to a GREAT start! You should try it! I had fantastic quiet time with the Lord this morning but I then lost the battle with my mouth today lol! Thank goodness tomorrow is filled with brand new mercies!

Sooo today, June 25^th, marks the 17 year anniversary of my Mom and her husband….it has been a long 17 years but hey they are still trucking along! Congrats to the both of them…my bf Chase and I went down for dinner yesterday to celebrate!

The graduation event this weekend went well….considering the smoldering HEAT, very limited parking, and swarm of flies of course. The menu consisted of turkey bbq, grilled bbq chicken, hotdogs, sweet & sour turkey meatballs, macaroni salad, baked beans, fruit platter, awesome cool whip-cream cheese-orange zest dip, chips and dip! The food that wasn’t on the grill was catered…wish I knew her name. The honoree’s sister was in charge of games, door prices, toasts…. it was nice, intimate, and all of those wonderful things! The family was extremely proud of their graduate and it showed.

I only assisted with rentals (tents, tables, chairs)….take a look belowJ



Graduate, Me....



When the Party moved inside....

Watch in AMAZEMENT

OMG...I've dragged my feet sooo long on posting pictures from my good guy friend's wedding that the video highlights are available! Tell God thank you because I didn't have excellent pictures anyway because my camera was M.I.A. sooo I'm so happy to share. Yes I cried, but it's just that AMAZING!!!!!! Love is a beautiful thang...oh yeah and WEDDINGS are simply fab!

http://vimeo.com/44122545

Pisstivistidy

Happy Friday,

On yesterday one of my friends (oh after SHOWING UP 30 minutes late) met me for wing night! After getting over a moderate level of pisstivistidy....I was able to sit down and have normal conversation. My thing with ALL people is...we all have things come up unexpectedly but can we give those we are meeting a simple heads up text...phone call....something? As adults, let's not ignore, avoid, or act as if someone's time or money is insignificant because that ish is Rudeboots! Ugh Ugh Ugh had a day today with a "friend" lol

Anywho....This friend yesterday asked if I had anything coming up and I said nothing confirmed. There is always talk of needing help but sometimes people don't follow through with a contract. Wellll from this conversation derived me helping out with a small graduation party. Invitations have been given out but some of the loose ends need to be tied up and that's where I come in. It'll be small, intimate family and friends....cookout style celebratory dinner for a lady that is very dear to my heart that graduated from Strayer. It's never too late to go back and she proved that to the WORLD! Kudos!!!

I'll be helping with the rentals...doing the legwork! I'm happy for the contract!

~Kisses

TeN commandments

I was watching one of my all time fave WE tv shows...."Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta" and Lori did a cute little 10 commandment's episode....figured I'd share here. Lori says the most 'countriest' things... always referencing sweet tea, wolves and sheep, and what she determines to be lady like. She's a keykey...you should watch sometimes!!! Many of her commandments referred to wedding dress shopping but I also see general rules of thumb for the entire wedding process!

10. Thou Shalt Keep The Bride's Eye on the Prize
Some bride's can be easily overwhelmed and distracted. Whether it's the phase for a salesperson or wedding planner...always be able to bring the bride back to reality. Bride's see it all, want it all, begin to cry, want to scream....sooo unless you want your hard work to fall by the 'wayside' you better fine tune ways to minimize distractions.
9. Thou Shalt Not Let The Bride Over Shop
Dear Wedding planners and salespeople...it's so totally important that the couple is aware of what they are spending the ENTIRE time! I work on the no surprises method...clients prefer it! The honest truth may hurt BUT it's the honest truth!
8. Thou Shalt Keep An Open Mind
When you're so totally sold on things you've seen in a magazine or on a website, you seldom like much of anything else! What you see on someone or done for someone may not be the right fit, so start with what you want and work from there.
7. Thou Shalt Leave The Past Behind
Relying on garments, stationary, or venues from your past wedding is NOT the way to move into what God has for you in the present and future...
6. Honor Thou Mother And Father Up til a Point
Yes we should listen to our parents...honor them even...BUT sometimes it's important to be respectfully clear and tell them the budget and ask them to stick to it. Parent's make you invite people you don't know and can sometimes make you spring for the premiere package when deluxe was more your speed. Find the balance....
5. Honor Thy Bride's Opinion Over All Others
It's hard sometimes when other ideas make better sense...but above all else it comes down to what the couple wants! When it concerns the dress the bride is going to wear...the decision is left up to the bride ONLY. Not parents or friends...
4. Pick Thy Wedding Posse Carefully
OMG...you don't want your wedding participants fighting like cats and dogs or making your event more stressful than it has to be....you want people that are team players and understand the wedding without a hitch is the goal.
3. Thou Shalt Not Bring Thou Fiance's Ex
Umm so this was solely based on an appointment during the season...lol The new bride brought the old more attractive ex girlfriend to her wedding dress appointment...like where they do that at? The ex girlfriend didn't like ANYTHING the bride tried on...and kept saying little comments like I know he won't like that on her...I remember when we were together and blah blah blah, he don't spend money like that on blah blah blah...So rude!!!! Umm yeah if you're friend's with your fiance's ex that's on you, but don't let that person dictate your wedding plans.
2. Thou Shalt Not Covet A Dress Outside Your Budget
If you're pulling dresses for the bride, don't pull dresses significantly out of the budget range! Remember they still need alterations, undergarments, shoes and jewelry and if you bust the budget completely open on the dress, something else will lack. Luckily for the groom, if all of your groomsmen rent from one place, the grooms tux is free and free is everyone's fave price.
1. Thou Shalt Leave Thy Fiance at Home
Now this is a matter of preference...but Lori believes no rooster's in the hen house (had to double check that I had that correct lol). Men can sometimes steer the bride away from the vision she had for herself trying to please him....so unless the groom is totally sold on whatever you want and less frequent with his opinions is he welcome in my opinion.

~Happy Born day to my wonderful 13...Miss Joy Marie Johnson! Oh how I love her so, God is so good for bringing her into my life-she's super busy because she's this grand MIT engineer in heels but the times we're together are just perfect!!!

Super Fly & Love Bug