FaMily FeuD....

You know what is really NOT HOTT? Starting your marriage while feuding with your in-laws! That’s really not IT!

I’ve never been in such a situation (and I hope NEVER to be)…so my advice is of course very limited in dealing with this! I do know it’s hectic trying to play to your fiancée, their family, your family and acknowledging the vision you have for your special day! When planning a wedding, stress mounts understandably, and as you spend more money and venture further and further out of budget….that can break even the nicest of humans! People pleasing gets old after a while, but you can’t spaz out and become totally dismissive when it comes to EVERYONE’s opinions! As a blushing bride or glowing groom, you must acknowledge your fiancée and you must respectfully discern between the concerns of their family and your family. In no way do I condone being disrespectful, but you must be clear and concise to avoid confusion. Confusion is the devil and disorganization is Satan’s Sister! (Shout out to Starr Jones’ new novel)

There are a variety of issues that could arise but the more common ones are nasty, demanding, criticizing, and insisting in-laws!! Not all newlyweds realize that getting along with the in-laws is one of the BIGGER challenges of married life! With most things before they fester, nip it in the bud before it causes tension in your marriage post wedding day! Families must let go to an extent and realize this person is now an adult in their own right with less time and money for them. LOL Mother’s very quickly forget cling to your wife…separate from your mother, as they are most often the problem! I do feel super sorry for young wives however because Mother in laws are so heavily vested in the mentality of “Mother knows BEST”, or so they think! Sadly, your spouse and future children may well depend on your relationship with the in-laws! Honestly a family feud affects a person’s physical, emotional, and spiritual life! While running this marathon, please be responsible, don’t intentionally draw others into your feud…that’s just nasty and makes for some very awkward moments at family gatherings!

Dealing with Debbie Downer's and Rude Randy’s is difficult! In order to avoid constantly stepping on egg shells (sometimes in your OWN home) there are some things you can do! Be brave…face it! Show gratitude for the concern of your in-laws although you don’t appreciate their message! Remember to be positive and take the HIGH road more times than not (I mean we all slip)! Be honest…in a polite way! Taking for granted that the other person won’t receive something well is how we dig the hole deeper…try being honest and heartfelt! Don’t exclude your spouse or soon to be spouse, talk to them about your concerns because if they are the person you intend to spend your life with…they should care about your feelings!!!! Remind yourself that a good relationship with your in-laws builds a strong foundation for your future family (may need to be repeated over and over)! It’s yet another sacrifice! If this is an issue, heavily discuss during premarital counseling as well as post marital counseling if needed! GET HELP in some shape or form…it’s not wise to internalize it until the feud wins!

~Ciao